i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
