We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
