we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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