Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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