Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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