just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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