I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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