my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
