sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
