I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize