the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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