I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
