Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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