it's like heaven, but drunker
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
