So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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