I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
