That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
