I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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