we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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