I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
