he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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