Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
