Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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