God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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