So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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