That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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