i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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