i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
