K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So vagazzling was a success
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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