sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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