I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
