The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
