Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Floor bacon is actually really good
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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