hotel room ftw
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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