I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
