i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
