We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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