this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize