She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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