I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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