Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
