She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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