after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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