Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
