I'm really into asian looking animals
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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