sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
