P.S. I can't hear my feet
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just want to make out with him forever
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