Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
