Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
