some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
