We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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