you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
