He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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