How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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