so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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