omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
