that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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