He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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