John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
